Do You Like Your Own Company?

"Do you like your own company?" asked Megan. I had no immediate answer for my dear friend and spiritual sister. I didn't know if I liked my own company. So I felt a little deeper, hoping to tap into my soul, and find my answer.

What came up for me is - I honor who I was and love who I am today. I embrace the bumps and messiness of my life. I practice all the "selfs"; self-compassion, self-love, and self-forgiveness. Mostly, I show up as I am, but “do I like my own company?” The silence in my body and soul worried me.

I love my "me time," but I am rarely alone. Even if my family is not around, I have my beloved pups as constant companions and a long list of things to do. And as of late, I have been vegging out on the couch in front of the TV to distract me from my life.

Many moons ago, when I was young, I bravely decided to eat alone at a fancy restaurant. I remember people looking at me as I sat at my table for one and was glad I brought a book to read. The book felt like my social armor, something I could hide behind. So the other day, I decided to go on a date with myself without any armor.

I sent the pups to the grandparent's place for the afternoon; I silenced my phone, picked up lunch from my favorite sandwich shop, and went home to an empty space. I sat in silence and ate my lunch. I focused on every bite savoring the flavors and texture, which I normally don't have time for in my daily flow of life.

Finally, with my lunch eaten and finished, I started straightening up my home. Ultimately, I stopped myself and sat in stillness. It felt a bit lonely without anyone home. Then, I began to fidget, and of course, I had to go inwards to find out why I felt awkward being with myself.