"Do you like your own company?" asked Megan. I had no immediate answer for my dear friend and spiritual sister. I didn't know if I liked my own company. So I felt a little deeper, hoping to tap into my soul, and find my answer.
What came up for me is - I honor who I was and love who I am today. I embrace the bumps and messiness of my life. I practice all the "selfs"; self-compassion, self-love, and self-forgiveness. Mostly, I show up as I am, but “do I like my own company?” The silence in my body and soul worried me.
I love my "me time," but I am rarely alone. Even if my family is not around, I have my beloved pups as constant companions and a long list of things to do. And as of late, I have been vegging out on the couch in front of the TV to distract me from my life.
Many moons ago, when I was young, I bravely decided to eat alone at a fancy restaurant. I remember people looking at me as I sat at my table for one and was glad I brought a book to read. The book felt like my social armor, something I could hide behind. So the other day, I decided to go on a date with myself without any armor.
I sent the pups to the grandparent's place for the afternoon; I silenced my phone, picked up lunch from my favorite sandwich shop, and went home to an empty space. I sat in silence and ate my lunch. I focused on every bite savoring the flavors and texture, which I normally don't have time for in my daily flow of life.
Finally, with my lunch eaten and finished, I started straightening up my home. Ultimately, I stopped myself and sat in stillness. It felt a bit lonely without anyone home. Then, I began to fidget, and of course, I had to go inwards to find out why I felt awkward being with myself.
I was relieved to discover that it was a limiting belief about not being productive. As I cleared and released the belief, I settled in, gazed out the window, and allowed the thoughts and emotions to flow in any direction.
At one point, I found myself daydreaming. It wasn't the quick daydreams of what I would do if I won the lotto or what I would say if I met my heroine; it was the daydreams of my younger years lying on the grass looking up at the sky, being so immersed in thought that it felt in flow with my soultime. It was big, full, vibrant, and fabulous! It has been so long since I allowed my mind to drift and even longer since I let myself get lost in a daydream.
For those of us who may have grown up being told that daydreaming is foolish, new research shows that daydreaming is good for us. It can improve working memory, performance, and productivity and help you be more creative. So it was good to know that it wasn't just another distraction but a delightful natural break for my brain.
As my time alone ended, I reflected on my date and realized I had fun and loved being alone with myself. So I can wholeheartedly answer the question with a resounding ‘YES! I LOVE my own companionship!”
Mandy Hale said, "Learn to be alone and love it. There is nothing more freeing and empowering than learning to love your own company." The most important relationship we will ever have is with ourselves.
As always, Be You, Be Radiant, and Be Your Own Bestie!
Here is an awesome playlist if you are feeling the need to go inwards and discover something new about yourself. It was prepared by Rebecca Campbell, a mystic and spiritual teacher and my latest obsession!